Also re: last week.
My roomie is fine. I'm just a worrier.
Saturday, October 24, 2015
The ball I did not attend
It's that time of year again: the masquerade ball. A night of feeling awkward and anxious in a ball gown. I like the idea of dressing up in costume. But it is generally a huge challenge for me to actually make it through. And this year I just couldn't. I couldn't handle showing my body and being sexualized. My face felt monstrously ugly (which would have been fine if people actually kept there masks on). And I could not fathom how I would cope with a 5 course meal. I feel upset with myself for not being able to go. But also kinda glad that I didn't force myself to do it and end up really fucked up.
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I love you. 5 course meal and social situations and dressing up sound scary, even if the idea of attending something that could come out of a fairy tale is appealing, I know I'd struggle with that too. I absolutely love you. I really hope the past 4 days have been okay xxx
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